LA LA LAND

In my adventures to LA and the surrounding communities I discovered a world of difference from Boston and the East Coast. Here are a few things I've learned from my experience in California:
1. If you are 35 or older you will drive a Mercedes, Porsche, Bentley or Maserati
2. You do not have to work, and if you do, it is over coffee at Starbucks.
3. Affliction T-Shirts are as proper work attire as a suit and tie
4. People are very nice, if you do not wish to speak to anyone, do not make eye contact... sometimes that isn't even enough
5. It is sunny, every day. Except at Mammoth where it changes depending on where you are on the mountain and what time it is
6. Carl's Jr employees enjoy the song "Jizz in My Pants" played very loud at 4 am
7. Sharkeez on Monday nights are more happening than Ned Devines any night
8. The blue drinks WILL fuck you up, even if you are tough and have huge muscles like me
9. If you were in the mighty ducks, you are now washed up and will play the guitar for Live Karaoke at Sharks Cove in Manhattan
10. If you have zero % chance of snow, it is still OK to put enormous tires on your truck and lift it so anyone under 7 ft can not climb into it
11. Everyone in Hollywood is trying to sell you something, They also offer a "special discount" for only you depending on where you are from, ex: the "Boston discount"
12. There are no lines for the best clubs....there are just crowds of people trying to find someone they know to get them in.
13. It is customary to dress like a complete fool, in fact it is encourage and will increase the chance you get into Le Duex
14. If you want to reach the Hollywood sign, follow the "no access to Hollywood sign", signs. Just be careful of rattlesnakes and mountain lions
15. Cameron Diaz has a vagina in the box at her hotel. well actually it's a whole live girl
16. Waiters do not have specific uniforms, rather they just wear whatever they want
17. There are crackheads on Hollywood blvd, they also sell tickets to LMFAO
18. You do not need a license plate, just something flashy where the license plate is supposed to be
19. There is traffic 98% of the time on the 405, regardless of what time of day or night
20. Motorcycles are encouraged to split lanes, not sure if this keeps the CHP employed, but there are about 4 fatal motorcycle accidents each week.
21. People actually wait for WALK signs and cross walks, non of this fuck you I'm walking (as slow as I want) when I want to BS.
22. A "Boston" bar is essentially where you go if you don't want to dress all trendy like and simply get fucked up. These bars also come complete with beer pong tables free for anyone to play.
23. Everyone in CA is originally from the East Coast